The Change Starts With Me. November 2, 2008

I’ve kind of always wanted to change the world. I have a lot of friends who got really involved in a lot of different causes in high school. A lot of friends who got really into green living, a few who got really involved in the Save Darfur Coalition, some who began supporting Fair Trade, a bunch that were really active in To Write Love on Her Arms, and some miscellaneous causes here and there. Through out high school I was very exposed to amazing causes that were reaching people all over the world.

A few times I tried to initiate activism in people who weren’t exposed to it before, but most of the time I didn’t get enough momentum to really get things going. And this discouraged my own personal ambitiousness. My friends who were involved were all scattered, and so we all just kept up with things for our selves and didn’t really do a whole a lot to involve each other and really set things in motion. But I’m tired of reading about things other people are doing in the world, and I’m ready to actually be the change that needs to happen in this totally screwed up world.

My pastor preached today about thinking inside the box. It was a economic sermon, but it really can be applied to any type of change. If you only think out side the box, you’re thinking about the things that you have no control over, but if you focus on what inside your own personal box, you have the ability to change your self and the things you do have control over. The change begins with what I have. It begins with me.

As a Christian, I am to be a leader of change. Change for a better life. For a better world. I don’t need other people to initiate the change. All I need is me and my own momentum. And I’m ready to finally be active. I’m ready to put into motion all the things that I want to personally accomplish.

I want to be more environmentally conscious. Recycle more efficiently. Use less non-renewable resources. That means no more Styrofoam cups a work. I want to buy locally grown produce. Drive less. Carpool more. Conserve energy. Go Green. Saving the Earth is extremely important. And little things in my daily life can make a huge difference. With out any body else I know adapting their lifestyles to a greener one, I will still make a difference in the long run. And maybe if people see what I’m doing and how easy and cost effective it is, they’ll follow suit.

I also want to solve all the worlds problems. Those going on in Sudan, India, South America, Uganda, and so many more. But I can’t travel, so I’m committed to making Charlotte a better place. There’s so much poverty all over the world, but there’s people in my own city who go to sleep at night on park benches and under overpasses. There’s many different kinds of need out there, and they all happen with in a 30 mile radius of where I live. There’s so much good to be done in the place I am, and until I’m in a position to travel the world, I want so much to be a part of the good stuff here.

And I’m ready to take my faith to a new level. I don’t regularly study the Word. I study enough of it that I know my way around a Bible, but I’m ready to know it inside and out. This is very important if I’m to lead a smallgroup of young girls in a Christ Centered way through middle school and into high school. The next level for me is to be so accustomed to referring to the Bible for problem solving that it comes naturally when I help others with what they’re going through in their lives. I feel that I’ve been called to minister to middle school girls, but I’m not ready to acquire my own smallgroup. However, I am very ready to prepare my fields for the rain I’m praying for.

I’m very excited about this sudden burst of energy. Tomorrow I intend to read up on all the causes I got unacquainted with lately, a few new ones, and really look at local opportunities to do good. And tonight I intend to begin really studying the Bible. I feel as though I have a lot of potential in me and I’m finally ready to see that potential really realized. I want to do well in life, and I think doing well and doing good should go hand in hand. Its time for me to do good and embed that in my daily life so that when it’s time to makes the decisions that will cause me to do well, they also cause me to do good.

If I lost you there, I’m sorry. Short and sweet: a lot of people sacrifice doing good by human kind in order to reach success and get ahead in their personal life. I never want that to be me. If a decision is going to make me successful, but take advantage of another, I don’t want to make that decision. If more people adapted that mentality the world would be a different place. But I can’t control what other people do. All I can control is myself and my own actions. This starts with me. The Change Starts With Me.

Today I… October 19, 2008

Went to bed at 1:00 in the morning…
Woke up at 6:00 am to get ready for church…
Got a very yummy triple grande white mocha…
Arrived at the Providence Campus and 7:30…
Lead Large Group Worship in the Quest room there…
For all four services…
Saw some of my favorite Elevators…
Went home at 2:30 and immediately collapsed on my couch…

 You might think I’m complaining. But today was actually a pretty amazing day. I missed all my Butler Volunteers and the kids I usually lead there. But today was an awesome opportunity to see how things are done at Providence and show them a little bit about how we do things at Butler. It was cool to just bounce ideas off of Jeremy at the end of the day to see what all we did differently. There was all sorts of stuff that the two campuses did differently, and some stuff that I definitely want to bring up next Sunday and maybe start doing at Butler. For example, Providence has a Quest Offering. I think we had talked about starting one, but never got around to it. After seeing how excited the kids were to give to the offering, I definitelythink that we need to have one too. I also really was liking how they played a song (“Let’s go!”) as the kids transitioned into large group. It gave me something to be doing with them as every one shuffled in to the Large Group area. It’s not one that our kids know too too well…but if they hear it every week with some one doing the motions as they come in and sit down, they’ll know it and play along too. Also. Providence doesn’t do a group potty break, witch was different. I don’t think we could get away with that. Plus…when would we do the wiggles or the hokey pokey? Also, the kids all got cool rubber wrist bands that was their group color for the day. I really like that. It seemed to move more smootly into small group over there, and that might be why. It might not be, but it’s worth a try.  

Also, Jeremy said there was a couple of things I did different that they want to keep. The way I did the finger play for the prayer was different than the normal way, and he thinks he’s gonna try to implement that. Also I have the kids repeat each line of the prayer after I say it, which they didn’t do at Providence before. Some how we also talked about the back of the coloring sheets for the parents to look at and I mentioned how we have our boards set up at check-in and check-out. We put a reminder about the coloring sheet, along with other important stuff at check-out. And we put the Special Words on our front check-in board along with a welcome and a food allergy reminder.

Which reminds me…Providence didn’t do snack. They might be on to something there. No one asked for it, no one wanted water. Nothing. I strongly feel that snack is just a hassle and we should do away with it too. I’m gonna bring that up with my room facilitators and see what they think about it. The kids will probably ask for it for the first few weeks, but they might get accustomed to just not having it. We usually only do it if we have time anyways, and it mostly just causes issues. I’m hoping they agree with me.

It was a very nice change of scenery for one Sunday. Every body was so thankful that i was able to step in and help out to lead large group for all four services. I guess that’s not really the normal thing over there…but since I wasn’t aware that most people only did two services, I totally stepped up. Not that  wouldn’t have other wise. Because I so would do all four services again. More sleep and more caffeine. And a cough drop or two to help preserve my voice. Hahaha.

It was fun to lead for a whole bunch of new faces. Got to meet some pretty cool kids and small group leaders. I’ll be glad to be back at Butler next Sunday. But I’m definitely looking forward to the next time I get to help out over at Providence. I made sure every one over there knew that I was willing to come back over if they were in need of an actor and would have me back, but they don’t want to burn me out. I understand that, and am very thankful for it.

I love my church and all the people who are involved with making it happen. And am so thankful I get to be a part of what’s going there. It’s a crazy amazing awesome move of God, and I’m fighting on the front lines. It’s an awesome feeling. I love it.

A Care-package for a Friend. October 16, 2008

So my best friend is stuck in a rut. She’s been battling depression for a few years now, which came as very shocking news to me a few nights ago. At first, I had no idea what to say or do, if there was anything I could say or do, to help her out of this low place. And I thought about what brought me out of my two year long depression.

Jesus Christ. That’s it. Just like her, I had every body fooled that I was okay and happy. But the turning point in my life when I actually stopped acting and started being happy was when I got excited about what God was going to do in my life. My best friend is also a Christian, always has been, always will be. And what she needs right now is a little spiritual awakening. Something to get her fired up about the potential she has and the life plan God has in store for her. So that’s what I’m gonna send to her.

I am so excited about what I put in this Spiritual Care-package. I won’t go into detail now, because if she reads this before she gets it, it won’t be a surprise. But it’s good. It’s exactly what she needs. It has all sorts of little things, and big things, medium things too. Once she gets it I’ll put up all the stuff I put in there.

I’m so glad to have her as my best friend. And I’m also very thankful that God has moved so much in my life, because I don’t think I have the power to lift her up with out His help. Man, I can’t wait to send it to her. Saturday I’m going to the post office to ship it 600 miles north. I have a feeling once she gets finished with everything in it, she’s gonna see the world through brand new eyes, hear it with brand new ears and feel it with brand new fingertips =]

 

What are you going to send your best friend? Because you should send your best friend a care-package. Even if they don’t seem like they need one. It could be just the little something they were wanting.

Sunday Wrap Up October 7, 2008

Usually I’m good for a Monday entry about what happened on Sunday, but seriously, Sunday was SOOO amazing that I needed to rest a little and let the thoughts percolate in my head before I committed to writing about it.

In the past three days I’m going on about 10 hours of sleep…so forgive me if I don’t make sense.

Sunday morning I wake up to go to sermon at 8:30. My mom came with me. It had been a while since she had come because she had broken her leg and it was too painful to go to Church, stand in line, walk around, worship, stand for the reading if he asked us to, and so on and so forth. Well, her leg is just about all better, so she came with me. It was nice not to have to sit alone.
The sermon was about sex. Not like, skirting around it, really vague, wait until you’re older and we’ll talk about it sex. It was from Song of Songs, the honeymoon part. And it was real sex. And he talked about real sex, anything there was to be covered about sex, he covered it.
Then, he decided that since the entire series was about relationships and healthy marriages, he wanted to jump start all the married couples and sponsored a date night. For every single married couple in the church. They got cards, picked a restaurant, and within the next two weeks you go to that place and get a $30 gift card. And they’ll reimburse childcare. How cool is that?

okay skip to Quest. no lesson plan. And Motion is short quite a few small group leaders, so I head over to Motion to help out. I get second graders, and it was really fun. They learned about behaving, and the Bible verse was Ephesians 5:7-10. I think. We played charades on different things that’s difficult to demonstrate Christ-like behavior, and good choices you can make during the week. We had discussion questions, and, the coolest part to me, prayer cards. Each child received a card to write specific requests and what they were going to commit to during the week according to the Bible lesson. It was really cool.  I grabbed them all up at the end of the day and put them all in my journal. They’re all too sweet and each one made a really good commitment for the week. I’m proud of our church’s next generations of Christ Seekers.

Then, later that night we had a night of worship. We sang lots of songs, and Pastor Furtick shared some really big news with us. We are getting our first permanent facility!!!!!!!!! It’s in the Ashley Furniture strip mall on 74 right off of 485. HOW EXCITING RIGHT?! He said it should be ready next fall. 900 seats. NINE HUNDRED SEATS and the church offices.  WOO! And Of course, we showed our pastor a little love.
October is Pastor appreciation month, so a ton of volunteers and attendees wrote letters of cards of gratitude for all Pastor does for our church. He almost cried when he got the bags full of letters. Larry Hubakta spoke some really heartfelt words of thankfulness and appreciation. About how Pastor has a specific vision for every one, even if they don’t see it them selves. Like a kind of spooky, even if he doesn’t know you kind of premonition way. Then Pastor came on to tell us how much he loves us, really truly loves each and every one of us, and how on Saturday nights when he’s stuck with a not-so-great sermon he’ll think of us, and specific faces he doesn’t even know, and how we respond to him while he preaches. He told us as much as he encourages us, we encourage him with all our support and appreciation.

Then I hit up IHOP with the BaxterBynumSmith clan. Fun stuff. I’m still super excited about the new PERMANENT phase of the life of our church. I’m stoked about the fact that the Butler campus the campus they’re predicting this facility will absorb. I’m excited that I get to be a part of one of the most (if not the most) important movements of God in this day and age. This life just keeps getting more and more exciting. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Ekidz Baptisms September 28, 2008

In the words of the famous Larry Brey, today was like the Superbowl. Today was our Ekidz baptism celebration, where dozens of kids ages 6-11 proclaimed their love for Jesus publicly for the world to see. It was amazing to witness. As some one who is active in the Children’s Ministry at Elevation, it was like…well…you know when you put in all your efforts into something, week after week you pour your self into one specific goal, and one day, it’s done and you can just sit back and bask in it’s glory. That’s what today was. It made my calling even more obvious. It made me remember why I memorize scripts once a month and get up early every Sunday so I can fill preschoolers up with the Word of the Lord. It reminded me why I put up with screaming kids who don’t want to share their toys, and attempt to console crying ones who just want mommy. All the hard work is totally worth it. When they accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior and profess in to every one, it’s all worth it.

I only knew three of the baptizees, but those three impacted all the Quest-ers the way a million would. And I am NOT taking any of this credit. All the glory of dozens of kids getting baptized today goes to God. He placed them in our care, and He in entrusted us with His message. He appointed us. He gifted us with the ability to lead 2nd through 5th graders in worship and and the ability to captivate them while acting on stage with a Christ Soaked Message. Not an easy task. And that’s all Him. He gave the small group leaders in both Motion and Quest the patience to answer lots and lots and lots and lots questions and repeat things 10 or 20 times to ensure the message sank in. And most of all, He gave us a passion to minister to youngsters. The future of the Christian congregation. The children who placed their faith publicly today may very well be the next Chris Brown, Wade Joye or Mack Brock. Rocking out on Stage for the Glory of God. They may be the next Larry Brey, John Bishop or Larry Hubatka. They might even be the next Steven Furtick. Or…prepare for some serious boldness…the next Billy Graham. I know, I know. Getting ahead of myself. But seriously. These kids are the future. And I am thankful everyday that I get to lead them and have an active role in their faith. I’m thankful I get to make the Bible fun for them. That I get to make learning about Jesus exciting. That I get to expose them to the love of Jesus early on so that when the time comes for them to let Him into their hearts it’s with full faith and understanding of His power.

Even with the…trouble, let’s go with trouble, that the grill gave us while attempting to feed all the families of the baptizees and volunteers, today was awesome. All the sweat and ever slow cooking hamburgers is worth it. Really, any amount of work is worth seeing some one make the most important decision of their life. And for them self. All on their own. Not just because mommy and daddy said it was time. But because they understood what it meant and already have Jesus as their personal savior and are ready to take the next step. I think that’s what makes it the most amazing. It was the personal decision and understanding of all these children to take their faith publicly. Ekidz kids are the best in the world. In my opinion anyways. And maybe I’m a little biased. But only a little.

BFFAE. September 23, 2008

So I have this best friend. Her name is Olivia. I only ever call her that when she’s being stubborn (which is most of the time), but when she’s not I call her Live. I’ve known her since the 7th grade. She’s always been there for me, and I’ll always be there for her. Always. This girl has always been a Christian influence in my life…never really pushy about it, but made it known that if I even had any questions about religion that she was there to answer them as best as she could. Until recently that was just something we didn’t have in common. We didn’t talk about it. But now, whenever I have a spiritual breakthrough it’s her I call right away. When God does something amazing in my life, I call her. Or when I’m questioning the ugly puzzle piece of life I’m presented with, I look to her for an 18 year old Christian’s outlook on the situation. Her answers are always Christ Centered and inspirational, and comforting. And of course, I do the same for her. If ever she needs to talk about something, she’ll call or text me and we work through it together. She’s my support net, she keeps me accountable for my actions, she was always my conscience, and an inspiration.

Today Live text-edme and said this “Jack, I just wanted to let you know how blessed I am to have you and how glad I am that you’ve become a Christian because now I know you get to come with me and stay with me” I never really thought about that. But it’s absolutely true. And it made me even more thankful that I became a Christian, because I would have missed her terribly in Hell, and I would have felt horrible for abandoning her like that after this life is over. So Itext-ed her back and said this, “Awe Live, I love you and I am truly blessed to have you as my best friend. I’m so excited that we get to be best friends for ever. In this life and the next.” Think about it. How awesome is it that I get to be with my best friend for ever. Real for ever. Not until-we-both-get-old-and-die forever. But really truly for all eternity we’ll be best friends. She said “Me to Jack! I was just thinking about that and how I know you’ll always be with me and it made me so happy!” And I came up with our new slogan…there’s been at least a million over the past 6 or so years. “BFFAE. Best Friends for All Eternity!”

And I got to thinking more on it…God knew that Olivia was going to be my best friend. He knew I’d find my faith when I did, and that I would need a companion in all of it. So, when He gave her to me, He made sure she was a Christian. Something that seemed so irrelevant when we first became friends is now the stronghold of our friendship. She’s my BFFAE, thanks to the very careful planning of God. It’s just cool. Because it never mattered before. She was my best friend before I found Christ. And now that I’m a Christian, she’s still my best friend, but we’re even closer. And we get to be best friends even after we accomplish everything God wants us to on Earth. JACKPOT!

So Shout Out to my BFFAE. Thanks for always being a breath of fresh air for me. Thanks for always staying up late when I needed to talk. Thanks for listening to me cry, and scream, and laugh. Thanks for letting me hog the bed during our extended sleepovers. Thanks for letting me live with you for weeks at a time. And most of all, Thanks for trusting me with being your BFFAE. It’s a responsibility I am honored to have. I love you girl. Best Friends. For all Eternity.

Why won’t He gives me wings so I can fly? September 21, 2008

I know I’ve mentioned it a few times on here before, but I never tire of telling people that I volunteer in the Quest (3-5 year old) Room at Elevation Church. I also never tire of telling people how much I really truly enjoy every minute I get to spend with these kids. Every Sunday I spend any where from two to five hours, depending on how many services I volunteer for, surrounded by the most amazing group of kids . I love that what I’m doing has a real possibility of sticking and creating a fun relationship with God that these kids will have for the rest of their lives. I do it for them.

And of course there’s an occasional Sunday that gives back to me. This blog was inspired by a little girl named Caitlyn, I believe she’s 4 years old. Today in Large Group we learned that Jesus loves every one, and in the very beginning after we went over the “special words” she turned around and said “Jesus loves me, then why won’t He gives me wings so I can fly?” My fast and quiet response was “He does love you, and he will give you wings, just not the kind that butterflies have. One day you’ll see, and you’ll fly in your own special way.” She seemed very satisfied with my answer, she turned back to the front and began to play along with the Bible lesson again.

I wanted SO badly to pull her aside and give a much longer version, but of course, she’s four, and wants to play in large group. And of course, the message might have been lost on her until she’s about 10, but there’s always a shot that she’d grasp the idea. Because really, isn’t that His job? To give us wings? Isn’t that what He wants? For us to be so connected to Him that He has the ability to give us wings so we can “fly” in His name? He wants us all to be lifted up, He wants all of us to be able to accomplish the unaccomplish-able. His hearts desire is to see us soar with success and happiness. He wants all of us to accept Him as our personal savior so that one day, when we’ve accomplished every thing in this life He had planned for us, He can give us real wings so that we may actually fly with Him for all eternity. As His children…all He really wants is to have us with Him for ever in Heaven. She really got me thinking about how truly amazing God is. How His one desire is for us to accept Him and live by His name so that he may bless our lives and give glory to His name. How awesome, right?

All this from a little girl asking why God wouldn’t give her wings…I swear these things happen every Sunday. Either they’ll say something that my head works into a crazy metaphor for God’s plan for our lives or they’ll say something so simple and true and pure about the love Jesus has for them that I feel the need to write furiously about it in my off-line journal. These kids have so much to learn, and yet so much to teach. They teach me the little things, while I try my best to fill them in on the big picture.

It’s amazing what can happen when you actually listen to them and take the time to formulate a response instead of shushing them and making the turn back around with no explanation to their question. I just pray that one day her mom or dad will teach her about the wings Jesus wants to give her and her ability to truly fly with the help of Christ her Savior.

Wheew…take a second to let that sink in…

 

On a completely different note: I have a prayer request for a friend of mine. Her name is Dannie, I’ve mentioned her before on here. She has grown to be one of my closest and best friends, and she has a very tough decision to make right now. She volunteers with me in Quest, and she also is very passionate about singing. She attends the weekly youth sermons at Next Level. A few weeks ago some one from Next Level approached her to offer her a chance to lead worship for the middle school age at their church. I told her not to think twice and to take it. Singing was her passion and she should follow her heart on that. Well, for a few weeks now, our elementary/middle school section Motion has been trying to get in touch with her to offer her a position to lead worship in there. She loves Elevation, calls it home, and would’ve taken the opportunity in a heart beat, but she already promised Next Level she would lead there. She’s very torn because she doesn’t know where her gifts would be better utilized, where she’d reach more people with her gift, and at which church she has more opportunity to get on the main stage for worship as part of the praise band. I’ve told her to pray really hard about it and that God would lay on her heart where she is supposed to serve, and not to worry about what people would say if she took one position or the other. I’ve been praying for her since she told me about her opportunity that Elevation would offer her a place to lead worship, and now that they have I pray that it is in line with what God places on her heart. Selfish, I know. But I would miss her too much if she stopped coming to Butler every Sunday. However….Pray that God makes the decision clear to her, no matter what the decision may be. She really doesn’t want to let any body down, and I hate for her to feel guilt when following what Christ has planned for her. So, all you regular readers, please pray for my friend Dannie. I’m sure she would appreciate any help and support through prayer!

 

Okay…I think I am all finished for the night. Two things in one. Hope you feel extra full of thought, and not gypped that I crammed all this stuff into one entry. Be back soon!

My Prince Charming. September 18, 2008

So in Sunday’s sermon, Pastor Steven challenged all us single folk to make a list of all the qualities that we will not compromise when finding that one person to spend forever and ever with. I didn’t really give it too much thought, because I think I have a pretty good idea of what I want in my husband, but tonight at small group we paired up and interviewed someone to find out what their perfect mate would be like. I paired with Erica, and we didn’t really do the activity. Ha ha. We just talked and bounced ideas off of each other. But listening to all the other girls go down their partners list of attributes really got me thinking. I have some serious standards my man needs to live up to. I haven’t put them to paper yet, so I suppose I’ll type them up here for any body and every body to read:

• First and foremost: He must be a Man of God. He’s got to be just as excited about God’s mission and plan as I am, if not more excited. He’s got be able to lead me spiritually and lift me up in my relationship with Jesus. He’s got to understand my commitment to the Lord and have the same amount of passion that I do. He doesn’t have to be a fellow Elevator, but it’d be a really great foundation. That’s what’s most important to me. If he can’t impact my relationship with God and lead me, he’s not the person I’m meant to spend all eternity with.
• He’s got to be good with kids. I want a big family, and he’s got to be down with that. Also, I’m very involved with the children’s ministry at Elevation, and it’d be amazing for him to share that joy with me. And if he doesn’t love kids, it ain’t gonna work.
• He’s got to be able to make me smile, all the time. Whether it’s making me laugh by being a huge dork or doing little somethings sweet that make me smile. If I’m sad or upset or stressed, I want him to be able to make me smile just by being him.
• Intelligence is very important. I don’t want to run out of things to talk about when we’re 97. If he’s dumb, the list of subjects he can talk about are very short. I intend to live a while, and I like to talk. And he’ll like it.
• He needs to have energy. I’m fast paced and I do a lot of things. He needs to be a little crazy. He needs to be rambunctious. I want him to be able to keep up with me. Jumping around from place to place, lifting other people up with his energy. That’s just very attractive to me.
• He has to have good eyes and strong hands. I’m going to look into those eyes for the rest of my life, and they don’t change with age. Eyes I can get lost in. And hands that know hard work. Hands that can fix broken things around the house. Hands that I love lace my fingers through.
• He’s got be in it for the long haul. Loyal. Committed. Willing to do whatever it takes and fix things when the break in our relationship. Honest and open. If you can’t address the problem, you can’t fix it.
• Last and certainly not least: He’s got to love me. At the end of day, I’m the girl he’s wants to look at and sleep next to every night.

I don’t think that’s an unreasonable list. I believe that there is a perfect match for every single person out there. There’s little things here and there that are preferences…taller than me, dark hair, attractive, close-ish to my age, strong, able to comfortably support me financially. If he’s not wealthy, it’s okay. And as long as he’s not over 25, we’re good to go. If he’s skinny and has blond hair, I have hair dye and a Bowflex. Ha ha. I’m not tall, so most guys are taller than me, I don’t think I have to worry about the short thing, but if I do, I can handle it.

Those eight things are all that really matter. That’s my prince charming.

How He Loves. September 16, 2008

Something happened to me on Sunday. Every time I lead large group for the Quest-ers, I sneak out to catch worship, just for a little pick me up before I go and pump up the kids. Chris Brown was leading at Butler, and they opened up with “With or Without You” by U2. Amazing, as always. They moved into Happy Day right after, did the welcoming thing, then had us stand back up. They began to play “How He Loves.” And it happened.

Just to let you know, I’m not a fainter, or an extremely rambunctious worshipper. At most I’m a clapper, and a hand raiser. But about a month ago I took part in an illustration involving large pieces of cardboard and a testimony of my transformation along with about 20 other Elevators. It was such a moving and emotional experience, and during the illustration Chris Brown and the worship team played “How He Loves.” And the part when the whole band picks up and kicks in we all held our sings up high and the emotion in the room peaked and every one stood up and clapped. The emotion was too much to keep in, and it’s an experience I’ll have with me forever.

But I never thought that the emotion would ever resurface to the extent that it did on Sunday. The song itself is so powerful, it could move people to tears. Chris Brown is an amazing worship leader and has such a passion and the stuff he says, preaches really, in between songs could move people to tears. But not me. No. Not me. However, the combination of the power of the song, Chris Brown’s passionate words of praise, and the emotion of the illustration did.

I felt it when the song started. And I held it together. Raised my hands to the Lord and thanked Him for how much he loved me, even for how much I’ve been a screw up, and for placing me in such an amazing place that I could experience His love for me. Then, the  band picked up and Chris Brown sang the end chorus at the top of his lungs. The emotion of that day, and the re-realization of how amazing my God is flooded over me. And I lost it. My fingers couldn’t reach high enough, and I felt my eyes well up and tears roll down my cheek.

I had never felt so much emotion during worship before. It was amazing. I felt what I felt, and I just let it happen. I’m not saying I’m gonna cry every Sunday at worship, my mascara doesn’t handle tears well. But I’m glad I did last Sunday. God moved in me, He reawakened the passion I had that Sunday. The fire has been re-sparked. Nothing Can stop me now.

Re-Excited! August 25, 2008

So, Saturday we had to bake friendship bread. My mom made it while I was at work, but the smell of yummy baked goodness filled the entire house by the time I got home. Right about the time I smelled the bread, I decided I was over the Daniel Fast. I decided God would still love me if I wimped out. He’d see my efforts and forgive me for eating real food again. I cheated. I had a smoothie with a scoop of yogurt in it Saturday night.

But you’ll be happy to know that I’m back on the Daniel Fast Wagon. VHQ had a ton of yummy snack food for Daniel Fast-ers. And The sermon Sunday was amazing and it reaffirmed my dedication to this fast. And last night I made home made salsa over some baked potatoes. It was diced canned tomatoes, kidney and pinto beans, green pepper, onion, jalapeno, chili powder and zucchini. It was SOOOO good. Every time I make something from scratch I get re-excited about the fast. I caught up on my reading and every time I go to eat something I pray because I think about the fast which makes me think about God. The fast is going to, hopefully, make praying all the time a habit. It’ll definitely reinforce praying before meals, and well, I eat a ton, so praying will truly become second nature. First nature even!

So yeah, very excited. Tonight we’ll have the salsa over some brown rice. Yummy =]